Doggie Door from Hell

So, I've been trying to put in this stupid doggie door for about a month now. The nice lady plastered all over the front of the box, happily cutting out the opening with her little jigsaw is not exactly how this panned out for me. Taking into consideration that I have done far more complicated home improvement projects in the past, but this job just required more tools than I currently have in my arsenal. After going through several blades on the jigsaw and every curse word known to man, I tried the circular saw......probably not the best idea I'm the world....then moving on to a regular hand saw , until finally marching into Home Depot to purchase a massive, powerful reciprocating saw. I love how every guy that works at any home improvement store asumes that if you can't pee standing up then you can't possibly know anything about tools or materials or home improvement. Thank you home depot guy, but I already know what a reciprocating saw is, that's why I asked where they were. But after finally getting the right tool for the job I finally got it done. And now I have an awesome saw and my dogs can pee while I'm gone. Sweet.

MARY POPPINS UMBRELLA

So, after going through about 4 of those dinky little girly umbrellas in the last 6 months or so with our crazy St. Louis weather, I finally broke down and bought a serious umbrella. It's about the size of a Buick and I think if a strong gust of wind comes by me I'm going to learn what it's like to go parasailing. But unlike my previous umbrellas, this one doesn't buckle if I sneeze in it's direction. And because of it's enormity, it actually keeps me dry. However, I feel like I just ripped the umbrella from my patio table to walk around with it over my head. I almost impailed a couple of gardeners working on the street today because I haven't quite gotten used to how to maneuver with this gigantic thing yet. I feel a bit like jumping off of my garage with it, just to see what would happen. I can't help but have visions of Mary Poppins floating around with her umbrella as I walk the streets of St. Louis, trying to stay dry. Now all i need is a carpet bag and a spoonful of sugar................

I'LL SHOOT YOU!

Yes, that's right, I said "I'll shoot you"........if you are a guest on shootpaul.com, that is. A friend of mine just launched a brilliant site. He is a live hamster in a cage for you to shoot with a paintball gun 24/7 via web cam. you go to the site, buy rounds of paintballs and shoot them at your leisure. Feel free to inflict the pain and feel good about it. After all, he asked for this. And there will be various guests from time to time to keep it interesting. For instance, tonights guest was Jake Houvenagle, there was also rollerskating in a grass skirt and lots and lots of paintballs. Check it out. You won't regret it.

PICTURES, BABY DUCKS AND MASTIF'S, OH MY!

It was an interesting trip to the park yesterday........
I took my niece to Tower Grove to do some shooting yesterday. It was georgous, the sun was out and it was nice and cool. A perfect Sunday. We were shooting around the cafe at the fountain and noticed that there were a ton of baby ducks, but only 2 moms. Way too many babies for only 2 moms. Apparently, one of the moms had dissapeared or been killed and there were 5 little orphaned furballs running around the park all by their lonesome. A few of them had wandered off and found themselves on Grand, about to be run over, when some pasersby scooped them up and took them to the pond and another one of the mama ducks was looking after them. But it was a sight to see about 20 baby ducks floating around the fountain.
Then as I was taking some shots of my niece scaling the rock walls near the fountain, I noticed a tiny little man walking a giant dog. I so wanted to take his picture......sheerly for the shock factor....but I didn't want to be rude. He was the nicest tiny litte chinese man with a cane, walking his ginormous Mastif around Tower Grove park. I think the dog weighed twice as much as the man. But it was very cute to see such an odd couple, but so obviously the perfect match. Just another day in the park.

GOOD DRINKS, GOOD TIMES

So, I spent the evening at an event at a local, downtown photography studio. It was a great promo event involving darts and free drinks.......one of my favorite things anyway. So the jist of it was to throw a dart at a map of St. Louis and wherever it lands, you go to that spot and take pictures, write a song, paint a picture, dance a jig, write a Haiku....whatever strikes you. Being very interested in photography this peaked my interest, but I have a fear of throwing darts....well, I have a fear of throwing things in general. Darts, frisbees, dice. I've almost been banned from Vegas for my stray dice throwing skills, as i have injured several dealers in such instances.(This is a true story) So, in this case I employed my skilled, ok maybe not so skilled, friend. But I knew she could keep it on the board at least and spare me embarrasment and maybe from being sued. My dart landed successfully on the board thanks to my friend, and I'll be shooting in South City for my piece of art for the follow up party on May 30th.
It was a great evening of drinks (Schlafly brews), company and conversation. In which we discused the rise and fall of St. Louis, Earthquakes, George Bush, Swine Flu, why we did/didn't like Pale Ale, Sarah Palin and Being Green. And no, there were no drugs involved, if you were wondering.

Thank you FK
Bonnie

SO, I LIED

So, I was planning on trying to post something every day, but it's been 3 weeks now. Working on the house gets distracting. But I'm taking a break. Back to blogging.
So, i realized the other day that I couldn't find my keys to my garage. I (a)lost them or (b)locked them in the garage. Luckily my car was not in it at the time. So, after scouring the house, car, various purses, coats, dogs food bowls, refrigerator and anywhere else i could think of, I've come up empty. So, what are my choices here.....break into my garage? Call a locksmith? Anyone know how to pick a lock??

sincerely yours
Locked Out

I SUCK

So, as you can plainly see.....I have not posted anything since before I bought my house. I've been busy painting and throwing a Festivus party and acquiring various dogs from Stray Rescue. But my recently acquired knowledge that Augusten Burroughs will be gracing us with his presence in St. Louis in April, has once again inspired me to start anew. I was shocked to see that in the small handful of places he is visiting to promote his paperback of A Wolf At the Table, St. Louis was one of them. Just as I was shocked to know that Clooney was making a movie here. Exciting stuff though. I guess people do know where St. Louis is.